Navigating the Somber Holidays: A Brandvlei Trip Unlike Any Other Festive Season with Dad

The festive season often brings thoughts of joy and togetherness, but for many, it can also be a poignant reminder of those we've lost. For my family, the Christmas of 2022 was exactly that – our first without the incredible woman who was the heart and soul of our home, my beautiful mother.

Just after midnight on February 12, 2022, Mom peacefully left us. She was in her own bed, in her own home, surrounded by her loving husband, all her children, their spouses, and her cherished grandchildren. Mom had bravely battled Alzheimer's, and while her passing brought immense grief, there was a quiet comfort in knowing she was finally at peace, surrounded by so much love.

This holiday season, we packed up and headed to Brandvlei, a place filled with so many memories of Mom. We arrived around noon, and even though Dad was engaged in our conversations, there was an undeniable sombreness beneath the surface. You could sense the quiet ache in his heart. We quickly unpacked, looking forward to supper, and mentally preparing for the projects ahead: installing a new stable door in the kitchen and putting up some crucial fence signage.

Adding to the unique nature of this trip, we also took delivery of our new conservancy, or septic tank, courtesy of RotoTank. Our lovely neighbour, bless her heart, even took delivery and signed for it – a true lifesaver!

This wasn't just any trip; this was our first time in Brandvlei without Mom. The matriarch, the laughter, the guiding light of our family was gone. Adjusting to this new normal, navigating the raw edges of grief, was at times incredibly painful and almost unbearable.

I was particularly close to my mother, and had also been a caregiver to her. From scans and blood work to surgeries for breast cancer, X-rays, doctor's appointments, and even sitting in on her psychiatry sessions – I was by her side through it all. And Dad, always the steadfast partner, was right there with us every step of the way. Losing someone who possessed such a beautiful soul, who had been the anchor of our family, was an immense adjustment for all of us.

My wife and I could easily see the deep longing in Dad's eyes. He missed her profoundly. What was truly amazing, though, was how he tried to shield us from his own pain, focusing instead on nurturing his mental well-being and supporting us. My selfless Dad – what a father!

As the trip progressed, my son, Dad, our local helper and I tackled the installation of that brand new stable entrance door to the kitchen. It was quite a mission, I won't lie! But Dad, with his wealth of experience and know-how, was invaluable. Before he became a seaman, he was a qualified carpenter in the building construction industry, and his skills truly shone through. After successfully conquering the door, we moved on to installing "no trespassing" signs on the exterior boundary fencing. We'd had quite a few people using our property as a thoroughfare, so it was a much-needed task.

After all our projects we took some time to enjoy the rest of the festive season and new year.